Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize