i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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