i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
