kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
