I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
