There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How external is "for external use only"?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
