omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
