It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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