the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
