butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
