The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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