Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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