You're my little dorito
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
