I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
