p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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