So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
