I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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