Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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