Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize