I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
