oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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