Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
