I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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