Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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