It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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