Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
