What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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