yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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