I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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