Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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