You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize