My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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