Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
operation have a gay friend backfired
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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