hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
