I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
