She announced her abortion via fbk
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize