Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
