hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I have demons in me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
