youre lurking in front of me
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Randomize
