Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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