Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
