I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Randomize
