Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
