The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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