Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
