I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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