McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
