In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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