i think my mom watched the whole time
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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