soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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