none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
