oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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