he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
