i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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