a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
