i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
either way he was missing a nipple.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
