he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
