she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
