I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize